Today’s podcast is focused on living with joy in today’s world.  How do we maintain a positive outlook, an attitude of well-being in this time of dissension and negativity in the social media stew with which we are constantly bombarded?  Must we leave it all behind and not interact on social media or interact with any news programming?

Enter Positive Psychology, the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive. Martin Seligman founded this field in the 90’s on the “belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within them, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.”  He believed that when we focus on well-being, it leads to flourishing.  I call that a glass half full perspective. 

Today we’re exploring the mindset that allows us to flourish and techniques to stay in that glass half full mindset.  We’re talking about two of the tools in Positive Psychology: Priming and Grit.

Priming means using our environment to influence our behavior – we want to increase positives and avoid negatives.  In priming, we become aware of our environment and its impact on us.  We engage the sensory input of our 5 senses.

• Positive primes include
  • Color -
  • Light
  • Music/sounds
  • Smells
  • Tastes
  • Words
  • Photos
  • Spaces
  • Screensavers
• We need to take control of negative primes
  • News fasts
  • Technology fasts
  • Facebook feeds today – convergence - both technology and news overload.
• Goal Shielding
  • Environments with conflicting stimuli can undermine goal accomplishment
  • Implementation Intentions.
    • Rewards triple likelihood of success on hard goals!
    • Remove ambivalence by establishing the reward for accomplishing the goal.
    • Foster good habits.
    • Reframe a negative situation into a positive one.
      • I am here, I want to get there. How do I make this move?

Grit is passion and perseverance in pursuit of a long-term goal.  Others call it follow through, task commitment or deliberate practice, for instance the 10,000 hours rule for greatness.

Angela Duckworth, author of the book Grit, says there are five characteristics of Grit.

• Courage
• Conscientiousness: Achievement-Oriented vs. Dependable
• Long Term Goals and Endurance – Follow through
• Resilience: Optimism, confidence and Creativity
• Excellence vs. Perfection

We can build grit through the following actions.

• Being around gritty people; this is called social contagion.
• Reading biographies and sports pages
• Coaching with accountability
• Making a decision to not quit – practice intentionality.
• Remove “magical thinking” for goal accomplishment. Goals don’t magically get accomplished.  Expect to work hard to reach worthwhile goals.

Grit is reflected in Paul’s words in Romans 5:3-4:

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Resources

Flourish, Martin Seligman

Grit, The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/424064/gospel-happiness-how-faith-and-positive-psychology-work-together-nr-interview

https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/learn/wellbeing

http://www.forbes.com/sites/margaretperlis/2013/10/29/5-characteristics-of-grit-what-it-is-why-you-need-it-and-do-you-have-it/#3766ff791f76

http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2013/01/10-ways-color-affects-your-mood/

Focusatwill.com

Join us on today’s podcast for an interview with Debbie Luxton, author of the upcoming book, Choose to THRIVE: Conquering Your Inner Conflict.

Life Purpose is really about Impact. 

Debbie works with and writes for strong-willed women of influence. She relates to them, because she is one. They are:

• Naturally gifted to lead – problem solving, decision making,
• Immense desire to add value.

This blessing can become a curse.  She says, “The good things started to own me.  I ended up trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be instead of myself   

Priorities were an issue. My identity was wrapped up in my career.  I put my career in front of what was really important, in my opinion.  I couldn’t see it.”

Challenges shape you

Her experience was the world was about Debbie. Fears and insecurities drove perfectionism in me. 

It all comes down to motives. Others thought I had it going on, but inside I was struggling.

I believed the lie that I couldn’t tell anybody that I had struggles going on.  What would they think? 

My Turning Point

God spoke that I needed to call my husband to put my marriage back together.  It was a decision of obedience.

Changing from Debbie’s plan to God’s plan

• It’s not about reaching a destination, it’s all a journey. Reaching a certain destination doesn’t relieve the stress.
• Doing what I know on my own gives me impact. Doing what God desires for me gives us a much more important impact.

Writing the Book

Debbie says she fought the process of writing the book.  The process included coining an acronym: WOGG – Waiting on God’s Glory – This happens in the valleys.  Debbie shares that this is where you experience growth times.  These chapter titles reflect the growth Debbie had to go through so she could write the book.

• Insecurities
• Independence
• Loneliness
• Transformation
• Perfectionism

She also learned that transparency in places that are safe is easy.  It’s being transparent with the whole wide world that is a struggle. This can lead to procrastination, which takes on many faces.  We’re do-ers, we are decision-makers.  We don’t see our own procrastination.

Debbie’s suggested resources:

Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

Debbie’s Blog: www.debbieluxton.com/blog

Debbie’s Linked In group - Exceptional Living for Professional Women: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/3869963/profile

Watch for Debbie’s Book: Choose to Thrive: Conquering Your Inner Conflicts – available February 27 on Amazon.com